End of January and hello February

Time just played a trick on me and I thought New Year was only yesterday. In a jiffy, today is the last day of January. I have yet accomplished anything. My life rots. And why am I so negative? Being feeling lethargic and totally no motivation for anything else. My level of cynicism has reached a new height. My emotions have died. Died. How about a walking flesh? Sounds like a zombie. Yup perhaps this totally describe how I feel now. Oxymoron? A feeling zombie.

Ok I need to inject some optimism. Don't wanna end this beautiful 31 January with a sulk.

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Going Home from China

As the old and dry cliche goes, time goes by so fast and in a blink of the eye, I am at the journey-end of this trip. I started out on 14th December 2009 to Hunan. Then along the way, I helped out with 2 engagements in Quanzhou. And finally, the Xiamen engagement. I spent my x'mas and new year in China. Probably, given the trend, I might spend my CNY in China next year.

It was a long and strange journey. One that I lost track of. In fact, I am so amazed by how have I forced myself to accept my current state. I am also amazed by the fact that I have worked non-stop for 7 weeks. And very certainly, I will be wrapping and cleaning my work tomorrow and on Sunday.

Am I a workaholic. Definitely not. I don't fit the criteria. I am a pleasure-seeking and shy away from anything workish.

Going back in another 2-3 hours.

Its depressing to deal with human relationships

Somethings I am not sure what is the grand design? Relationships have been a cornerstone of human's development. It seems that "no man is an island" is the fundamental to this design. What makes us human is the experiences that we have accumulated. The memories. The pain. The joy. The multitude of confusions and seemingly sense of control.

Can a human without experiences be human? What is being human? What is depression? What is feeling? Even more, what is life? Its an age-old question.

I love to be alone. I hate sadness. I hate to deal with human relationships. LEAVE ME ALONE. Alone? Can I eventually be ok? Being alone?

My one month in Hunan

It has been a new experience in Hunan.

Yet, the feeling is not the same. Firstly, I think Changsha looked like the other cities. Maybe it is because of the half a century of communism rule, which resulted in an uniformity that kept me from discovering the true beauty of the city.

The client was rather ok to us. But it was evident that one's "enthusiasm" can last only about a week. There were few obstructions to our work, like kept nudging us to go off earlier, kept telling us to reduce their workload, etc. All these are extremely irritating, especially since we are on a tight schedule.

It is true that our work cultures clashed, but to a great extend, it is plain rude.

Except for one, I had a great time with the team. I got to know a new member whom I never worked with before. He is damn crappy and really funny. He reminds me of my crappy side. Really crappy side.

That sums up what I felt throughout this trip. A bit short though, maybe because all I did was sleep, work, eat, sleep....

GTD

Getting Things Done, a brainchild of David Allen. I admire this book and his perspective on getting things done. GTD is something that I really want achieve. Simply GTD. However, the truth is, I have disability. That is my lack of discipline and concentration. There is a burning desire to just GTD. Yet, like a blind man crying out to the heavens to like him see, I yearn to settle my heart and anchor my discipline.

Many a times, I will just give up and give in to my laziness. The force of comfort is overwhelming. It is an evil force. I think the only thing that kept me from going crazy is my ego. My ego has prevented me from admitting to my shortfalls.

GTD. Not an easy task for me. And I had enough of disappointments. I want to just give up and fall into the abyss. At least, its the gravity that is GTD.

To Now-Here & Nowhere

A decade has since went by when I celebrated the new millennium (and still unable to spell it without a spell-check). The last decade was an eventful one. It saw my transition from JC kid to an army soldier to an university graduate and now-here I am, as a working adult.

2009 was an even more eventful year. A host of bitter stuff came my way and now that I looked back, it was but nowhere.

I wonder what will the new 2010 brings. For one, the economy will be resilient to further shocks (as demostrated by the Dubai debacle), as nations decided to tighten their grips over public debts and finances. The world is awash with the public funds, and as such, the euphoria and illusion will last through 2010.

I am stepping into the role of an auditor senior. I will need to be more responsible for my work and for my team. I have to interact with more caution and clarity with almost everyone (its something that I am trying hard to learn).

I want to pass my CFA level one and to finally start on my CPA.

I want to spend more time with my parents.

I want to get the rumored Apple tablet (be it iSlate or iGuide) and the 27 inch iMac!

I want to go to Greece!

There are so many I wants, and I shall see how many of these can I strike off on 31 December 2010.